Midday Nap Halts Negotiations Between Jewish Student Union a...

UMD | gavrischreiber | April 19, 2016

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Midday Nap Halts Negotiations Between Jewish Student Union and Students for Justice in Palestine
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COLLEGE PARK —  Negotiations between the Jewish Student Union (JSU) and Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) broke down suddenly today when members of SJP insisted on taking a nap break. One SJP member said her conscience would not allow her to stand idly by as the most beautiful day of the year descended upon innocent UMD students.
Members of JSU were adament that SJP had misrepresented the facts–declaring that yesterday’s weather was in fact nicer.
Negotiations ended when SJP members abruptly fell asleep in the middle of the mall, blocking the falafel line.
Leaders of the two organizations exchanged heated words after the cease in negotiations, indicating deeper disagreements between the two sides. An unnamed SJP leader said, “The international community does not recognize McKeldin Mall as belonging to JSU. For them to brazenly erect a wall and an inflatable bouncy house on land they do not own is irresponsible and provocative.”
Samuel Feinstein, vice president of JSU, declined to be quoted at length, saying only that “the camel was necessary for self-defense purposes,” and that the wall was in fact for rock-climbing.
Reports had also indicated a growing rift over the location of the next bar night, with JSU preferring Cornerstone and the SJP opting for Terrapin Turf, taking offense to the “apartheid-like divide” between the Grill and the Loft at Cornerstone.
Special thanks to Michael Krasna for contributing to this article. 
Photo credit: Jon Banister