Grown Man Crying

US and World | Corey Rennolds | March 30, 2016

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Grown Man Crying

ALPHARETTA, GA—Area man Gene Murrough, a grown-ass adult with a college degree, was observed crying like a widdle baby earlier today, sources reported.

Murrough, 46, a fully grown man with all of the obligations of someone of his age and socioeconomic demographic, was apparently unable to hold back a torrent of tears as if he recently fell down and suffered a boo-boo. The poor, helpless Murrough, who might as well have been sucking his goddamn thumb, was also heard sniffling and moaning at regular intervals, much to the embarrassment not only of himself but everyone around him. Despite holding a full time job and having long ago passed through childhood and adolescence, Murrough continued to wet his own face in a sorry display of weakness and immaturity. His eyes, red and puffy from the pathetic demonstration, reportedly produced the saline fluid in quantities far exceeding that which should ever be seen in a single instance by an adult man who has bills to pay. The sad-sack Murrough, according to sources, would occasionally pause his juvenile whimpering in what onlookers must’ve hoped was finally the end only to resume bawling even louder than before. As the pitiable weeping progressed to an uncomfortable duration, sources confirmed that Murrough seriously needed to man the fuck up.

At press time, Murrough had increased the intensity and volume of his incessant blubbering as his wife’s casket was slowly lowered into the ground.

Article by Corey Rennolds @CoreyRennolds. Feature image credited to Abd allah Foteih.