Announcement: Funeral for Dropped Burrito Bowl to Be Held Sa...

UMD | Brendan Dwyer | March 23, 2016

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Announcement: Funeral for Dropped Burrito Bowl to Be Held Saturday at Noon

The funeral for a burrito bowl purchased by senior University of Maryland student Elizabeth Arnolds will be held this Saturday, March 26th, at high noon. Those wishing to attend the service are asked to gather in front of the Chipotle restaurant at 7332 Baltimore Avenue, where the burrito bowl in question was birthed. Following the service, to be presided over by Chipotle Assistant Manager Jeremy Rizzo, the bowl’s remains will be ceremonially disposed of in the corner garbage can.

Arnolds requested that we include the following words in this announcement:

“I can’t believe this happened. I always hold my food tighter than I would hold my newborn child. Like, this is literally the worst day of my life. Why is gravity even a thing? I hate it so much. UGH. I was really excited for that bowl. We hardly got to know each other. That bite I did manage to get before I dropped it was promising: pinto beans, pico de gallo, with just the perfect dollop of guacamole… I even spent extra for double meat. It really could’ve been something special.”

While there was no suspicion of foul play, Arnolds did confirm that the burrito bowl contained fowl.

Feature image credited to punctuated.