Nation Content with Fascist Bigot Leading Country

Politics | Adam Goldberg | March 8, 2016

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Nation Content with Fascist Bigot Leading Country 

NEW ORLEANS — After surveying New Orleanians at the fascist bigot’s rally on Friday, it is apparent that the nation is content and even enthused with him leading the country. 

According to numerous sources, supporters provided passionate responses to the Republican front-runner’s platform and controversial rhetoric.  

When asked about the fascist bigot’s plan to build a wall, Cornelius Brown of St. Tammany’s Parish replied, “Maybe instead of twiddling their thumbs outside of Lowe’s, those Mexicans will actually do something and start buying materials for that damn wall.”

Brown, 53, has a very specific idea of what the American dream entails. “You wanna know what the American dream is? It’s getting your own name on your own private jet. He’s got that. These wetbacks – they can try and hustle and bustle, but they’re not gonna find a jet long enough to fit their Hernandez-Gutierrez-Fernandez names. It’s just not gonna happen.”

Brown went on to tackle the issue of Muslim immigration. “Listen here – I really don’t like my last name one bit. Brown, Brown, Brown; you know, my buddies make fun of me. [They] tell me I might as well wear a hijab with a last name that represents the color of terrorists, not to mention the color of feces. I say we ban them all. My little girl’s in second grade and she says, ‘Daddy, Daddy, I want more colored pencils.’ I said, you’ve got the only one that matters: skin color. You know, that nice peach-beige. The good skin. True story.”

In response to the claim that the fascist bigot is a former reality TV show host hungry for world domination, Brown simply replied: “Did you know that Ronald Reagan was an actor?”