Report: Every Woman You Like Currently Dating Tall, Good-Loo...

US and World | Corey Rennolds | March 4, 2016

  • Copied

Report: Every Woman You Like Currently Dating Tall, Good-Looking Man With Large Penis

Couple in bed

WASHINGTON, DC—Sources out of the nation’s capital reported earlier this morning that every woman you are currently interested in as a potential romantic partner is already in a healthy and passionate relationship with a tall, good-looking man who possesses a large penis.

The man in question, according to sources, ranges between four and six inches in height taller than you, makes significantly more money than you from a respectable full-time job as a civil engineer or perhaps a Capitol Hill staffer, and maintains the general physique of a lesser Greek god. On weekdays, the man in all likelihood returns from his well-paying place of employment and a couple of Gin Rickeys at a Dupont Circle happy hour to his upscale two-bedroom apartment on the west side of downtown, where he regularly fulfills your romantic interest’s every erotic desire with his massive, exquisitely-shaped dong.

Additionally, sources confirmed, the very handsome man in each case possesses an excellent sense of humor, is consistently and enthusiastically supportive of your object of unrequited affection’s emotional needs, and is well-read in poetry, philosophy, and historical nonfiction. Chances are strong that the man, who is having incredibly satisfying sexual intercourse on a regular basis with any given woman you’d like to date, also plays guitar. The man’s affable, magnetic personality affords him a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, all of whom are equally more successful, likable, and numerous than your own.

At press time, each man was reported to be pleasuring the woman of your desires with his colossal, stone-hard cock to previously unimaginable realms of orgiastic ecstasy capable of completely eradicating any feeble shreds of thoughts concerning you that may have existed in her mind for the foreseeable future.

Article by Corey Rennolds @CoreyRennolds.