The 6 hottest girls I know

click here ya dingus | Adam Goldberg | February 29, 2016

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The 6 hottest girls I know 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this recently and I think it’s time everyone finds out who I think are the 6 hottest girls I know.

6. Kate Upton

She’s a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Need I say more?

5. Marilyn Monroe

An instant classic. My dad still has pictures of her in magazines. She was like the hottest blonde back in the day. 

Photo source: Ky
Photo source: Ky

4. Rihanna

Bad Gal Ri-Ri! She’s so hot. In a list of hot babes, she shines bright like a diamond.

Photo source: tricks ware
Photo source: tricks ware

3. Eva Longoria

I remember I first got a crush on her while watching Desperate Housewives with my mom. She’s in a new show now. Still hot.

Photo source: Richard Sandoval
Photo source: Richard Sandoval

2. Natalie Portman

One time I saw her at restaurant in Los Angeles. I think she looked at me. Pretty cool, huh?  Oh, AND SHE’S JEWISH!!!!!

photo source: Craig Duffy
Photo source: Craig Duffy

1. Sadie

photo source: my heart (michaelawashere7)
Photo source: my heart (michaelawashere7)

Sadie, you’re honestly one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met. Seriously. I mean it. You’re so fun to be around and I love joking around with you, especially when it comes to Ms. Peterson’s class. That time when you purposely said the wrong answer just to get her to say the word “potatoes,” or should I say “pEWtatoes!!” Aww man, you’re so funny. But at the same time, you’re not like most girls I know. Sometimes, when it’s just the two of us hanging out, I wonder what really could be ya know? What’s in our future? I can’t stop thinking about the time you made me try my first cigarette and I just felt so high afterwards. It honestly felt like an out of body experience. I want more experiences just like that, but then you said you had to go and hang out with your boyfriend Trevor. I mean, Trevor’s a good guy and all, but really, a football player? I know we’re just in 9th grade, but I thought you were more alternative than that. It’s just so cliche high school. Seeing you ride off with him in his motorcycle just made me worry. Did you know that over 5,000 people die per year in motorcycle accidents? I just hope that it doesn’t happen to Trevor, not if you’re sitting behind him anyways. UGH. I’m sorry, but he’s just not that cool of a guy. Like, what does he have that I don’t? Yeah, he might be 18, but shouldn’t he have a job or something? I’m not saying we should date, because I know you guys are dating… it’s just… I don’t know, I always thought we’d be good together. I can picture it now. I’m strollin’ into homecoming with you around my arm (my blue cast will be off my March) and you’re looking stunning. You don’t even need makeup. Like sometimes girls wear way too much but I think you look great just as you are. “Come as you are, as you were. As I want you to be.” I’m actually writing a song now and that’s the beginning of it. It’s called “Sadie,” cause I know this really cool girl that I wanted to dedicate it too. Ha, I guess it’s funny that’s your name too. But yeah, guitar is actually a lot harder than it looks, but I’ve always been a fast learner so I guess that’s good. Weird that Trevor plays guitar too. I bet he never practices, or not nearly as much as I do. I might actually practice right now. Three hours a day, anyway.

Anyways, I hope you liked this little article I wrote. I know it’s cheesy, but I really feel this way too. 100%. I’ll see you in class Monday! Ms. Peterson will be happy to see you! And so will I, I guess…

These are the hottest girls I know and you’re #1 and also #1 in my heart.