UMD Student Finds Solace in That High School Classmates Stil...

US and World | Hugh McFarland | February 24, 2016

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Photo Source: Dan Langendorf
Photo source: Dan Langendorf

UMD Student Finds Solace in That High School Classmates Still Pursuing Rap Careers

COLLEGE PARK, MD—University of Maryland student Eric Zimmerman reportedly spent an hour after class Wednesday listening to poorly-produced and badly-written rap songs that his high school classmates had posted to Soundcloud to lift his spirits.

“I failed the in-class quiz for my stat class,” the sophomore English major said, “so I really needed a pick-me-up.”

Unlike most college students, Zimmerman has yet to figure out what exactly to do with his life, a reality that causes him a great deal of stress.  Despite this, Zimmerman claims that he has found the perfect antidote to his crushing uncertainty.  

“Whatever happens to me, at least I’m not like those kids from high school trying to be the next big thing, like Vanilla Ice or 2 Chainz,” he said.  

Zimmerman continued, “Sure, I’m worried about my future, but when the alternative is calling myself ‘Young EZ,’ making an awful song that my friends listen to ironically, and then becoming a used car salesman, I think I’m on the right path so far.”

Other students have also become aware of this technique. Freshman Paul Harring shared his thoughts on the subject.

“Of course every upper-middle class kid dreams of being a great rapper one day,” he said, ”but most of us know when to give up on that hope and let our parents convince us to major in business.”  

Harring then went back to listening to a track by four of his former classmates from Richard Montgomery High School, who now refer to themselves as “Rich Homiez.”  

At press time, Harring was showing his friends the song, chuckling, and looking as though a humongous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Just think,” he said, “that could’ve been me.”