Area Dog Lies Down

US and World | Corey Rennolds | February 23, 2016 SATIRE

  • Copied

Area Dog Lies Down


ANNAPOLIS, MD—Sources have confirmed that at approximately 2:30 PM yesterday, area dog Cheyenne, 9, lay down in her doggie bed.

According to those close to the situation, the laying down was signaled by a deafening moan let out by the dog that was heard throughout the nearby vicinity. Cheyenne, an exquisite yellow Labrador Retriever who clearly must have just returned from an intense day of rescuing children from burning buildings or herding livestock, then proceeded to bend her weary joints and lower her mighty frame into the soft embrace of her cushioned throne, positioned in front of a bay window to capture the sun’s rejuvenating golden rays.

Jenna Hecker, 23, Cheyenne’s owner, spoke to reporters shortly following the conclusion of this most significant of events.

“I was in the living room getting some reports done for work when I heard this great sigh. I spun around in my chair to see [Cheyenne] easing her body towards the floor, and I felt as if the earth itself had been shaken. I’d never witnessed anything like it.”

“She must’ve really had some kind of day to make such a big deal about it,” continued Hecker.

When asked for comment, Cheyenne simply rolled her eyes back into her skull and proceeded to stretch wide her canine jaw in a spectacular yawn, causing the air to tremble with the sheer release of energy in a remarkable display of regality from the majestic beast.

“I don’t think Chey wants to be disturbed. She needs her rest, doesn’t she?” said Hecker whilst gently stroking the backside of her beloved companion, indeed a strong protector and tireless guardian of all humanity.

“Hush now; let us take our leave. She is gathering strength for future endeavors befitting her glory.”

At press time, Cheyenne had bolted upright from her previously prone position upon hearing the rustling of a Purina bag being opened.

Article by Corey Rennolds @CoreyRennolds. Names and images used with permission.